Hold your peace when you get triggered!

I worked flat out on updating a complex 17-page document, gaining inputs from various stakeholders, and massaging it until it was neat and ready to be submitted. Of course, I had a tight timeline before submission. However, I got it out and then greeted the weekend. I was tired. It had been a hectic race.

Later that evening, I’m sitting at a school concert enjoying the kid's performances and during intermission I spot an email from my senior leader about the paper, saying maybe we shouldn’t submit it but rather follow a different process.

Okay so granted, I read the email without my glasses, on my phone, and very quickly. And just as quickly I had a negative reaction. I had a sense of frustration, disappointment, and anger.

The next morning, I begin reflecting on the situation, wondering why I allowed myself to lose my peace. I realised the earlier emotions were based on my striving for a certain outcome and perhaps a defense reaction.

I consciously choose to put those un-serving thoughts aside and revisit this from a place of calmness.

I found power in being able to look at the situation without needing to defend myself, I found I was able to see it with less personal expectations and started framing up responses that would help inform further decision-making without being tainted with negativity. This was certainly a way more powerful response.

However, it was still the weekend – so the response would have to wait.

By Sunday night, I have more thoughts gathered and I sit down to draft the bullet points to respond. I re-read the email, and guess what, when reading it without stress, tiredness and negative emotion, I saw it in a totally different light. It was not “stop and don’t submit”, it was, “I think this, what do you think?”. I was amazed that my mind had read into something that wasn't there.

I scripted a response to provide further insight and promote decision-making and sent it early on Monday. A fantastic learning for me to remember to:

· not react immediately

· challenge my emotions and question my motives

· choose to be at peace before responding

· respond without the need to defend or protect

· aim to achieve a better outcome or improved understanding

· don’t read emails when you are tired on your phone without your glasses!

· hold your peace!